I keep seeing memes all over Facebook and comments about what other Moms want for Mother's Day. Anyone that knows me, knows I am a HUGE celebrant - birthdays, holidays, achievements; you name it, I'll probably suggest we have a party or buy a gift in honor of the event. Ironically, however, this is where the whole mixup of Mother's Day has come up for me this year.
Why, Why, WHY - OH - WHY, is everyone sharing things like "I just want a clean house" or "I want the laundry done" as their request for the day meant to celebrate perpetuating the human race?!
Now don't get me wrong, I understand where the root of this comes from... I, like all parents, want to wake up to a house that's perfectly clean when I didn't have to do it. I, like all parents, want to know that all the laundry is done/folded/put away. I, like all parents, want a day to myself to do whatever I want... and I, like all parents, definitely want to sleep in and wake up to a happy house full of children that don't fight all day.
But why is that something special to celebrate a day that's supposed to honor being a Mother?
In a fantasy land far, far away, I imagine those fairytale situations would be more common than just once a year or the result of a family wanting to "honor their Mother".
Now before I go any further, I want to reiterate that I understand where this all comes from - in many households (um, hello, ours is one of them) the Mother is the one keeping up on daily tasks of the home. We make sure everyone has clean clothes to wear to school, occasionally they come from somewhere other than a basket - like maybe a drawer or closet - and we ensure everyone gets fed from time to time, as well. I can guarantee you that I am the one to clean our house 98% of the time and I think I should just wear a black and white stripe shirt as a daily uniform for all the refereeing continuous arguments between humans much smaller than I am with larger than life attitudes/emotions.
Like all other parents, I think a day "off" from those duties sounds like heaven... but that's not what I want for my Mother's Day.
Why are we, the best perpetuators of the human race and captains of Team-Do-It-All-Because-That's-How-It-Works, agreeable to just one little bit of a break for only 1/365th of our life? And why are Dads (presumably) assuming that this is enough?
I will throw this out there, real quick: my husband helps. He helps when it is convenient for him by doing dishes, switching laundry, hanging laundry on the line, giving showers/baths, cooking a meal once in a while, and putting kids to bed as needed. Does he help everyday? Nope. Does he always do one thing or another? No. Do I appreciate it when he does something? Yes. Do I tell him that I appreciate it? Yep!
But I can also promise you that I don't celebrate 1/365th of his life (since becoming a Dad) by offering to take the trash out, mow the lawn, or wash his truck. Because think about it, is that really celebrating him? Does it actually give him a "break"? Would he even enjoy that? Would (me) telling the kids to take it easy around him so he can "enjoy his day" make him feel any more celebrated? Um, hello, probably NO.
So why are we, as Mothers, selling ourselves short to accept the "gift" of something that should be part of normal daily life?
Obviously, I don't expect an answer. That's a completely rhetorical question. And to be totally fair, I don't even have an answer to offer... But consider this: Mother's Day should be celebrated just the same as we celebrate so many other holidays, events, and birthdays. Because realistically, Mother's Day is a day of birth in so many ways, and (in my opinion) should be celebrated accordingly.
I hope you'll focus on honoring what the Mother in your life would really want, celebrate who she is as a person, and consider what is something that she wouldn't normally do for herself - because cleaning the house, doing the laundry, and making dinner - isn't the answer.
"Ain't no Momma like the one(s) I got!"
